It was a day in June 2014 at around 4:30am. I had just brought my 13 month old nephew into our room. We had had a slept over and it was time to,“Wake up Aunty Kezzie!” After we played for a while Carl, my boyfriend, turned to me and asked me when we could have a baby. I was surprised because it was the first time he had asked me that question. “When I have reached a healthy weight.” I replied. We both want to have the most healthy baby and give that baby the best chance in life. I know that being obese while pregnant can cause issues for mom and baby. I have also watched a documentary which showed how babies of obese mothers are often born overweight. Being a mom is what I want most in life and I felt like I was making us both wait now. I felt guilty and frustrated with myself.
I had been thinking about my weight for a long time. Of all the times I had tried to lose weight. All the successes I had had. Then I would gain back all the weight with extra. I needed more than a diet. I needed help. I called Carl one evening, very emotional because I had to tell him. He knew how hard I had tried in the past to lose weight. I mean he had been on every diet I had been on during our 7 year relationship. He asked “What kind of help?” I said, “A dietitian or a psychologist. I need someone to help me with the reasons why I keep losing weight and then gaining it back again.” I knew it was a cost that we would need to bear but it was for our future. Carl said “OK, let’s try something new. Let’s start with a dietitian.” I agreed.
I hit google and searched for a dietitian in our area. I called the very first number that came up. It was a very friendly lady. She said “I’m sorry, I’m based in Bloemfontein but I can give you the contact details to my colleague in Sandton. Her name is Claire Julsing – Strydom.” I called and spoke to Claire directly. I told her that I was broken. I cried. There is something very wrong with me. I am not sure if I need a dietitian or a psychologist. She said that I should come in and see her. If she felt I needed a psychologist then she would refer me. Her voice was gentle and calm and I felt like I could tell her anything from that very first conversation.
I made my first appointment and I know it was the best decision I have ever made. I have lost 42kgs so far. I have not had to see a psychologist. In fact, I have learned that I am not broken. I have bad habits and I am working on them every day.